Regrets is an emotional reaction
by kwimz
Summary: After 6 months in Hudson, Jenny is back in the UES for the Christmas holiday. She is changed and certainly regrets all of her actions. Will that make someone see her from another light, the Jenny he first fell in love with? Rated T just in case
1. Two Hours Away

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. If it was the contrary, Jenny and Nate would have been together a long time ago! :)**

Chapter 1 : Two Hours Away

She wish she didn't have to go back. At the most, she wish that everyone has forgotten about her, especially Gossip Girl. 6 months ago she left New York, she wanted to forget what she has begun. Hudson has been good to her, she notice that she changed a lot. To get away from New York was the best thing that could happen to her. Here she was plain Jenny and she like that. No more drama, no more Queen J, no more UES and no more Gossip Girl.

Sure, she still got news from New York, she would Skype, or text, or call Eric and Dan almost every week. She talked to her dad at least twice per month. She believes that he called her mom at least every week to check up on her. When she was talking to them, it was usually small talk, they never talk about Gossip Girl or the UES. Even, when Dan came to Hudson for Thanksgiving, he never mentioned the others. She could have chosen to go to Aspen with her mom and step-dad but she accepted Lily and Rufus' invitation to spend her Christmas holiday with them, and Eric kind twisted her arm too.

She was looking outside as the train departed from the Hudson's train station, saying to herself "It only for 10 days, I can't be that bad!"

Yep, she was two hours away from hell. Here we go.

_**Author's note: This is my first attempt to fanfiction... I have the plot all written out just not sure how many chapters there will be. Also the others chapters will be longer! Promise! **_


	2. You're Not Welcome

Chapter 2 : You're not welcome

**Disclaimer : I own nothing.**

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_**Meanwhile in New York.**_

Chuck was pouring himself a glass of whisky as he look at the best friend sitting on the couch:

_- Nate, you are not going to spend your Christmas holiday in the penthouse all alone?_

_- Yes, why wouldn't I?_ He paused, look up at his friend. _Who said I was going to be alone! Hahaha! Anyway, I got so much thing to prepare for next semester, it's basically the reason I turned down my grandfather invitation. _

_- At least, come to Christmas dinner at Lily's. She wouldn't mind. Certainly, Serena wouldn't mind too, since you two are now on speaking term. _

_- I was going to anyway, Dan kinda invited me already._

**_XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXO_**

Rufus was waiting for Jenny at Grand Central Station. 6 months not seeing her little girl was making him anxious. "Has she changed? I hope so, I hope she learn her lesson." He was looking at the board "Arrived, 1:36 PM"

10 minutes later, he saw this tall blond girl that looked like Jenny but with less make-up and wearing jeans and with a grey pea coat. She was smiling and looking straight at him.

_- Dad! It so good to see you! _She said while hugging him.

_- Me too, kiddo! Let's go, Eric will be so happy to see you! _

She hoped that no one saw her, especially that no one sent a blast to Gossip Girl. She was wrong.

_**Looks like we have an early gift 'tis season! Seems that Little J is back… it is to take her throne back or it is for another smackdown with Blair? You know you love me. XOXO Gossip Girl. **_

In the limo, Jenny felt her phone buzzed. She had a text message from Eric. **Seems all New York knows U R back. Thx to GG.**

"Great" Jenny mutters under her breath. "that all I needed, now."

It was true, in less than a minute all New York knew that Jenny was back.

_- Dan? Jenny's arriving!_ Serena said when she saw the blast.

From what Dan told her, Jenny has change. When Dan came back from last Thanksgiving, he told her that she became a completely different person, that the guilt of wrecking everyone life and the sadness she felt transformed her! She believed Dan, and at some point she forgave Jenny too.

Chuck saw the blast too. He was in a meeting but he was hoping that Blair didn't see the blast. He was now trying to find a way to keep Blair from seeing Jenny.

As for Blair, she did see the blast. Was she furious? Yes. Was she going to do something about it? Certainly. But it would have to wait another 3-4 hours as she was busy in a meeting with some of Columbia committee

And then, there was Nate, who looked at his phone and for some reason, he felt a notch in his stomach. "She's back." was all he could whisper.

**_XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXO_**

She was in the elevator, going to the Van der Woodsen penthouse. When she got in, the place hasn't change. She felt something coming over her, she could feel the tears coming down. She walked in the living room, to see Lily, Eric, Dan and Serena holding a "Welcome home Jenny". This was too much, all the memories buried far away resurfaced, she couldn't breathe.

"Jenny, are you okay" was all she could remember before passing out.

An hour later, her eyes flickered by the sun coming through the window. She open her eyes, looked around. "Eric's room" she turned to see him sitting at his desk looking at her.

- _You scared us there! Are you okay? _

_- Yeah, overwhelmed a little bit, I guess._

_- I feel there more… talk to me. You know you can. _

_- (sigh) I think coming back to New York was a bad idea. All the bad memories coming back to me. Eric, I don't belong here. I don't want to be here, this isn't my home anymore. Hudson is…I think I'm going to stay at the loft while I'm here. If I can avoid the Upper East Side for the next 10 days, I will be good. _

_- So the demons are still haunting you? You know, if Serena forgave you, why not everyone else._

_- Haunting? It's more hunting… I know Blair… she doesn't forgive easily. _

_- Come on, she is back with Chuck, isn't that forgiveness. _

_- It's Chuck and Blair… it's kinda epic! Anyway, after what happened…_

_- You knew? _

She only nodded and got up from the bed.

- _I'm going to tell my dad that I'm going to the loft. Call me tomorrow, we could hang out in… Brooklyn?_

**_XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXO  
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Jenny felt better at the loft. "Home? The Upper East Side? Never again!" she thought. She was sketching in one of her books, while waiting for Dan as he went to pick up something for dinner. She rekindled with designing back in Hudson, it helped her getting through all the drama. Leaving New York was the sum of all the bad and the ugly mess she caused. The guilt, the shame and the emotional turmoil led her to depression. While consulting, her psychologist encourage her to do things she love, and that when she start designing again. Even though, she not (diagnosed) depressed anymore, she still feel the regrets, and she wanted to make amends, but she knew it was going to be harder with some people.

She heard a knock on the door. Dan wasn't expecting no one. When she open the door, it was the last person she thought would come to see her.

_- Hello Jenny. It seems that I once warned you that if you ever set foot again here, I would destroy you! _

_- Ok… hi Blair. Listen, I – _

_- Have I told you that you could talk to me? You're not welcome here! Do you understand me?_

Jenny clenched her jaw and looked straight into Blair's brown eyes.

_- You know what, then go tell Lily that she shouldn't invited me here because I'M TURNING BLAIR'S WORLD UPSIDE DOWN! Just stay away from me for the next 10 days and you will be fine! _

And she slam the door to Blair's face. Well, making amend with Blair will be harder than she thought.

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_**Hope you weren't lost! Please review! :) **_


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